When I was a young boy my mother used to say to me when I was angry (which wasn’t very often) to count to ten before saying or doing anything. There mere fact of pausing before you act or say something out of spite is quite a useful tool. Sometimes we just want to respond or act immediately to what’s been said or done to us without thinking first. Our first instinct is to fight back or lash out. Unless you are in physical danger this is often a bad idea.