The only answer to darkness is to bring light. In the ever-shifting landscape of our modern world, the prevalence of negative energy has cast a shadow over our lives. Everywhere we look, we are bombarded with messages steeped in doom and gloom or crafted from a foundation of fear. Powerful entities and individuals, for reasons […]
I am in the process of reading Gordon Livingston’s great new book, The Thing you Think You Cannot Do, and as usual he delivers many useful tidbits of helpful information and a wise perspective. In one chapter, he talks about the importance of asking the question, “What next?” While his clinical therapy patients may often be dealing with much more significant challenges than my clients, as human beings we all have things that hold us back and inhibit our positive momentum. It’s easy to get mired in the past or caught up with the urgency of managing now. Many of us are far too quick to embrace the role of victim and tell our sad stories to anyone who will listen. We end up creating negative energy which hinders our ability to move on and create a positive future. I’m not saying we don’t have to make peace with what has happened, but the best way to get out of hole is not to keep digging deeper but to climb out.
Today I received some very disturbing news. It was information that would make anyone angry. There is nothing worse than betrayal especially when you have a long history with someone and have trusted them. It never ceases to amaze me how people will rationalize their behavior and not take personal responsibility. The fact is that actions do have consequences and sadly there is often collateral damage to an individual’s behavior that can linger a lifetime and affect many people. A pebble will cause a ripple in the ocean whether the act is good or bad – it is important to always remember this.
We can’t control what people say or do, but we can control how we respond to it. It’s important to always remember that no one can make you feel anything; you choose to feel that way. It’s amazing how a few unkind words or obvious negative body language can affect us. I’ve seen fairly successful and confident people wilt under the glare of another person’s disapproval. None of us are perfect and we all make mistakes, so only take constructive feedback to the degree that it helps you improve/grow as a person. If the feedback being given isn’t constructive, then learn to simply block it out or ignore it.
One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn as an adult is the importance of “letting go.” When life gets hard or you feel wronged or things don’t go your way it’s easy to harbor resentment and anger. The problem is that unless you are careful these emotions can well up inside you and become part of your identity. Its one thing to have a brief period of grief or bitterness it’s quite another to let it define you.