Let People Fix Themselves
Be wary of trying to fix people. If they are broken, they will need to fix themselves and possibly seek professional help to do so. It is often easy to get “sucked into the vortex” of someone else’s problems, especially if you care about them. However, the most important thing a good friend can do is
listen and offer advice only when requested, doing so carefully and sparingly. Don’t try to be an amateur psychologist; you may be unprepared for what you find, and the burden of responsibility could shift to you.
Every one of us has personal work to do. We all have areas in our lives and aspects of our personalities that hold us back. At times, it feels like a major part of our life’s journey is figuring out our personal obstacles and the lessons we need to learn to overcome them. Sadly, it is usually an
adverse event that triggers the need for learning and growth. As they say, “sometimes you must hit ‘rock bottom’ before you take positive action.” Hopefully, the collateral damage for those surrounding you will not be too great.
Support Without Taking Responsibility
Every individual has the capacity for self-awareness and self-sufficiency. While friends and colleagues can serve as a mirror of our actions, each of us needs to take responsibility for our own life challenges and the lessons we learn from them. The best we can do for others is to be honest and empathetic, establish healthy boundaries, and, if necessary, encourage them to seek professional help. You can’t fix other people, but you can still care enough to support them (if it is helpful).
