Don’t Let Life Just Happen to You
A Different Setting, A Different Perspective
I’ve come to believe that most people don’t stop growing because they get older. They stop growing because they become comfortable.
This week I’m attending a longevity workshop at Modern Elder Academy in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I came hoping to learn more about aging well, but I’ve already been reminded of something much bigger. One of the greatest predictors of how we experience life isn’t simply our age. It’s our willingness to keep learning, adapting, and growing.
The setting couldn’t be more different from home. I live in the historic city of Frederick, Maryland, nestled near the Catoctin Mountains and surrounded by some of the most beautiful farmland in the country. Frederick’s vibrant downtown, historic architecture, rolling hills, and four distinct seasons have always felt like home. Santa Fe is another world entirely. The high desert, expansive blue skies, mountain vistas, and adobe architecture create a landscape unlike anything I’m accustomed to. Standing here, it’s almost hard to believe we’re part of the same country.
Travel has always reminded me how much there is to discover—not just about different places, but about people, ideas, and even ourselves. That’s one of the things I’ve always loved about America. Within a few hours of air travel, you can find yourself in a place that feels like a completely different world. The landscape changes. The climate changes. The culture changes. Even the pace of life changes. Every trip reminds me how fortunate we are to live in a country with such extraordinary diversity, and every new experience has something to teach us if we’re willing to pay attention.
Adding Life to Your Years
Like many people now in their sixties, I’ve become increasingly interested in how to age well. I’m not simply interested in extending my lifespan. I’m interested in extending my healthspan and, perhaps even more importantly, my wellspan. Longevity isn’t simply about adding years to your life. It’s about adding life to your years. The goal isn’t merely to reach ninety. It’s to reach ninety while still being curious, engaged, physically capable, mentally sharp, emotionally healthy, and surrounded by meaningful relationships. None of us controls every aspect of aging, but we have far more influence over how we prepare for it than many people realize.
As much as I’ve enjoyed the curriculum, what has impressed me most has been the people. The youngest participant here is in their early fifties. I believe the oldest is seventy-nine. That’s nearly three decades separating the youngest and oldest people in the room, yet age hardly seems to matter. They come from different professions, different parts of the country, and different life experiences. What unites them is something far more important. Every one of them made a conscious decision to be here. They could have stayed home. Instead, they invested their time, energy, and resources because they believe they can still become healthier, wiser, and more intentional about how they live.
There is something energizing about being surrounded by people who refuse to become complacent. Our instructors are first-rate, and even after only a short time I’ve already learned ideas I can begin applying immediately. I’m sure every participant will leave with something different because we all arrived with unique experiences, challenges, and goals. We’ll hear the same presentations and participate in the same discussions, yet each of us will apply those lessons differently. That’s one of the things I enjoy most about learning environments like this. Shared experiences often produce very personal insights.
There Is No Age When We Graduate from Learning
One of the greatest blessings of my professional life has been spending more than three decades surrounded by business owners, CEOs, executive coaches, and other lifelong learners. Looking back, I realize I’ve had a front-row seat to watch how exceptional people approach both leadership and life.
The best leaders I’ve known never assume they’ve figured everything out. They read constantly. They seek coaching. They attend conferences and workshops. They ask thoughtful questions. They surround themselves with people who challenge their thinking rather than simply reinforce it. Success doesn’t make them less curious. If anything, it makes them even more curious.
Over time I’ve noticed another pattern as well. Some people simply let life happen to them. They drift from one circumstance to the next, reacting to whatever comes their way, and then wonder why they aren’t happy with where they ended up.
Others choose a different path.
They happen to life.
They make intentional decisions. They invest in themselves. They seek experiences that stretch them. They challenge old assumptions. They understand that meaningful growth rarely happens by accident.
That doesn’t mean life is equally easy for everyone. Some people unquestionably face greater obstacles than others, and I would never suggest otherwise. But I’ve also seen enough over the years to believe that mindset matters. Our attitudes influence our actions. Our actions become habits. Our habits ultimately shape our lives. We rarely stumble into becoming healthier, wiser, or more fulfilled. More often than not, those outcomes are the result of hundreds of intentional decisions made over many years.
I certainly didn’t have to come to Santa Fe. Life back home is good. I was comfortable. But comfort has never been a compelling reason for me to stop growing. I don’t believe there is an age when we graduate from learning. In fact, I think the opposite is true. The older we become, the more valuable learning becomes because the world keeps changing around us. Our bodies change. Our relationships evolve. Our businesses change. Technology advances. Society shifts. If we stop learning, eventually we stop adapting.
Don’t Let Life Just Happen to You
Wherever you are in your own journey, I hope you’re intentionally investing in your future. For you, that may mean improving your physical health. For someone else, it may mean becoming a better leader, strengthening a relationship, deepening their faith, learning a new skill, or simply becoming more present with the people they love. The specific goal isn’t what matters most. What matters is making the decision to keep growing.
None of us knows how many years we have left. What we do know is that the quality of those years will be shaped, at least in part, by the choices we make today. We can choose comfort, or we can choose growth. We can drift, or we can live intentionally.
As far as any of us knows, we only get one chance at this life. That’s too precious a gift to spend on autopilot.
Don’t let life simply happen to you.
Go out and happen to life.