I find that most of us tend to avoid the emotionally difficult or awkward conversation. Instead of addressing an issue head on, we "beat around the bush" or try and avoid the issue altogether. This puts the onus on the other person to become a verbal detective and/or force the issue. This isn't fair to them or us. Moreover, I find that most of these types of exchanges devolve into a passive-aggressive dynamic which is unhealthy for the relationship. You ever notice that avoidance never works - it just delays the inevitable. In matters of importance to you or someone else, when you don't say what you truly mean (or feel) this is the textbook definition of be inauthentic as fellow human being.
Donald T. Phillips in his wonderful book, Martin Luther King on Leadership, does a nice job providing significant detail as to why Martin Luther King (MLK) was a great leader. We often focus on the rhetoric and powerful speeches that he gave, but there is so much more substance to the man than just what he had to say.
In business (and life), patience may be a virtue but passion becomes a prerequisite. Being a small business owner is hard work especially for founders and growth oriented leaders. You truly must believe in what you are doing to overcome the many obstacles that inevitably appear on your path along the way. Most people wouldn’t […]
I remember my mom telling me early on that “words matter.” Once you say something it cannot be unsaid. Even if you apologize and/or make excuses, the imprint on another person’s brain is still there. And, sometimes the repercussions can last for years or even a lifetime. There are many situations where I wish I […]
Sadly, it seems rare these days when I see something that a professional athlete does that I feel sets a good example for my children and even inspires me. One could argue that the physical abilities of athletes has grown considerably since I was young. Their exploits on the field seem to continually set a […]
There are a lot of excuses being bandied about regarding the words of Donald Trump and that once he gets elected he will modify his rhetoric and become more presidential. Sadly, this energy is only growing. I hear many apologists state that It was just the rigors of the political campaign season and he’s doing […]
Anyone can manipulate words and stretch the facts to suit their short term objective. However, it is difficult long-term to fake behavior and eventually your words will catch up with you.
As part of my work, I am in a lot of meetings and conference calls. It’s amazing and somewhat disheartening at times to see how the quality of these interactions can vary. There are moments where it feels like everyone is “dialed-in” and paying rapt attention, but these are few and far between. More often […]
Over the years I've noticed that it is inexperienced or mediocre leaders who feel like they have to dominate all conversations. It's almost as if what anyone else has to say has limited or no value and it is only their opinion that counts. We've all been in meetings where there is that one person who simply will not be quiet and yield the floor to others. They are also often prone to interrupting their colleagues before they can finish their thoughts and using obvious body language when the center of attention isn't focused on them. This is bad enough when it is a peer but even worse when it is the actual leader of the group. Nobody likes a "know it all."
The leader of an organization always sets the tone. Never forget this fact. I am often slightly bemused when I hear a leader complain about the state of things in their organization. It's almost as if they remove themselves from the equation. They wonder how things have devolved to this point as if it is some deep mystery when all they have to do is look in the mirror. Your people are a reflection of your hiring decisions; the quality of your meetings is directly related to how you lead them and model this behavior for others; missing deadlines is a reflection of what you are willing to tolerate in others and yourself; a lack of focus almost always starts at the top; teamwork only ever happens when the coach sets the expectations and creates the conditions for this to happen; optimistic or pessimistic cultures are usually a reflection of leader's point of view; etc.