anger Archives - Capacity Building Solutions

Leadership Thought #486 – Be Wary of Angry People

Whenever you get a disproportionately angry response from someone, there is usually something else deeper going on. People don’t normally go from 0-60 emotionally in a noticeably brief time span unless they are already vulnerable and/or irritable to begin with. They may be using you as a proxy for someone or something else, even if you are the target of their invective. Of course, it could also be the result of a widening chasm built over time between that person and you that you weren’t fully aware of, and it ended up reaching a breaking point. Whatever the reason, it is a troubling reaction that shouldn’t be taken lightly.

Leadership Thought #444 – If You Are Angry More than You’d Like To Be, Maybe The Problem is You

Anger is a part of life. Everybody gets angry sometimes. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t access all of your emotions occasionally. However, I highly encourage you to pay attention to your dominant emotions. If you start the day in a bad mood and it only goes downhill from there, then what did you expect to happen. If you are too easily negatively triggered by the actions of others, then why should you surprised when people disappoint, annoy or avoid you. More often than not, we create the conditions under which we operate. Personal energy is infectious. Everyone we interact with is only feeding off the energy we put out. Just experiment with frowning all day and smiling the next. You will see a big difference. How are you showing up every day? What impact are you having on the people around you?

Leadership Thought #407 – Fear Sells, But The Costs Can be Significant

I don’t remember growing up in a fearful society, but I feel like I live in one now. Just turn on the TV, listen to the radio, and read the newspaper; someone will eventually try to scare you. We all seem emotionally fragile and quick to identify an enemy or cause for our concern. The news media have perfected this art so well that they have helped to perpetuate a more neurotic generation in a time when almost every violent crime statistic and adverse health indicator is either significantly lower or at least comparable to those from our childhood (and our population has grown considerably during this time).

Leadership Thought #382 – Dealing with Anger

Today I received some very disturbing news. It was information that would make anyone angry. There is nothing worse than betrayal especially when you have a long history with someone and have trusted them. It never ceases to amaze me how people will rationalize their behavior and not take personal responsibility. The fact is that actions do have consequences and sadly there is often collateral damage to an individual’s behavior that can linger a lifetime and affect many people. A pebble will cause a ripple in the ocean whether the act is good or bad – it is important to always remember this.

Leadership Thought #316 – Manage Your Fears

Don’t let fear rule your life. Don’t let others use fear as a tool to manipulate you. I realize the journey may not be easy for some of you and could involve some major therapeutic work on your part, but it will be worth it. Most of your fears won’t happen; if they do, the results will be less severe than you think. Live your life courageously and don’t avoid taking risks. There is some truth to the statement, “What doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger.” In life, bravery and a commitment to personal growth and development are always rewarded.

Leadership Thought #244 – Don’t Be So Quick To Rush To Judgment

Don’t be so quick to rush to judgment. It is sad how much self-righteousness, anger, fear, jealousy and resentment lurks beneath the surface of society today. It takes very little for the media to create a feeding frenzy where everyone jumps on the bandwagon and denigrates another human being. Even though in this country we have a standard of innocent before proven guilty, the court of public opinion often makes up its mind before it has all the facts or evidence. And, guess what sometimes it is wrong – just ask Dr. Steven Hatfill or Dominique Strauss-Kahn.

Daily Leadership Thought #193 – Emotional Control Is Not Optional

Nothing is more distasteful to employees than a boss who has no emotional control over their own emotions. People look to their leader to lead with confidence and resoluteness, not to “suffer the slings and arrows” of their emotional ups and downs. Of course, there will be adversity and disappointment – that’s part of any job. However, what separates great leaders from everyone else is that they remain calm under pressure and possess an unflappable nature when things go wrong.

Daily Leadership Thought #184 – Learn To Let Go

One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn as an adult is the importance of “letting go.” When life gets hard or you feel wronged or things don’t go your way it’s easy to harbor resentment and anger. The problem is that unless you are careful these emotions can well up inside you and become part of your identity. Its one thing to have a brief period of grief or bitterness it’s quite another to let it define you.

Daily Leadership Thought #150 – Manager Your Anger; Count to Ten

When I was a young boy, my mother used to say to me when I was angry (which wasn’t very often) to “count to ten before saying or doing anything.” The mere fact of pausing before you act or say something out of spite is quite a useful tool.