You get to decide what you focus on. You can spend your time and energy on things that bring you down or lift you up. I know pretty blessed people who can still find something wrong with every situation. On the contrary, I’ve been amazed by others confronting significant difficulties and keeping their spirits up through positive thinking and proper perspective. Life is how you think about and respond to what happens to you.
It’s amazing how many of us stress over trivial things. It is as if we believe the world exists to make us happy, and every small obstacle becomes a major annoyance. We lose our sense of proportion and forget how fortunate we are that petty issues can occupy our attention. It is important not to forget that many of the world still struggle with fundamental life/survival issues.
So much about life comes down to your attitude about it. I know privileged people who are regularly misanthropic and others with less economic advantages that seem to be mostly happy even though their lot in life seems comparatively difficult. Every day we wake up we get to make a choice about how we approach our life. We can see our existence as an amazing gift full of unlimited possibilities or a burden full of work, obligations and limitations. We can appreciate what we have or yearn for what’s beyond our reach. We can make a positive difference in the lives other people or focus exclusively on ourselves. We can build bridges to solidify positive relationships or forget to tend to the basic maintenance of effective human interaction.
We cannot control what people say or do, but we can control how we respond to it. It’s important to remember that no one can make you feel anything; you choose to feel that way. It is unfortunate how a few unkind words or obvious negative body language can affect us. I’ve seen successful and confident people wilt under the glare of another person’s disapproval. None of us is perfect, and we all make mistakes, so only take constructive feedback to the degree that it helps you improve and grow. If the feedback isn’t constructive, simply block it out or ignore it.
Whenever I encounter someone who is failing or struggling inevitably they have convinced themselves that this is their lot in life. They spend a considerable amount of time thinking about worst case scenarios and everything that is going wrong. Sometimes they even start to believe they deserve their misfortune and/or easily fall into the role of victim. More and more energy is taken up by negative thoughts and this only deepens their woes and solidifies self-doubt. When this mindset takes hold for any prolonged period of time they actually begin to sabotage their own success and happiness. It is a vicious cycle. People don’t have black clouds over their heads they just become consumed by dark thoughts. My own observation of others is that depression doesn’t happen to someone all at once instead it happens gradually over time…
What we focus on expands. If all your energy is channeled into negative thinking, don’t be surprised if this only makes you feel worse. No matter what happens to you, the only way out of the darkness is to reach for the light. The light shines down on you through the generosity of your spirit, the strength of your close relationships, remaining true to your core beliefs/faith, and recognizing the many blessings surrounding you.
Based on everything I have read and observed, it is safe to assume that most people don’t like their jobs or at least have a “work to live” mindset. Work is something they must do rather than something they enjoy doing. I encourage you to challenge this thinking and seek the good in your work and in the people you work with. Since you’ll be working for a long time, why not make it more fun?
Whether we like it or not, “all things must pass.” Everything has a beginning and an end. As far as we know, nothing besides space is infinite. Youth, careers, relationships, roles, responsibilities, health, and ultimately life itself, all transition and ultimately conclude at some point.
I often think many of us are under the misconception that life is supposed to be easier than it is. The “grass is greener” syndrome abounds, and we believe that things should always be better than they are, rather than counting our blessings and accepting what we have. It’s as if we strive to live in a Hollywood movie where we are always the protagonist of the story, everything has a happy conclusion, all our material needs are easily met, all major conflicts are quickly resolved, and the perfect relationship is just around the corner. Well, this is fantasyland, not reality.
Some of us will achieve success that surpasses our expectations, while others will, regrettably, endure the painful consequences of failure. Most of us will fall somewhere in the middle. Don’t let adversity get you too far down or define you in a way that doesn’t suit you. Regularly solicit feedback from friends and loved ones (and tell yourself) that you are up to any challenge. The only thing we can control is our actions and how we respond to the events around us.
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