The ability to listen
Listening Is an Essential Skill
is an essential leadership skill. Over the years, I’ve noticed that inexperienced or mediocre leaders often feel the need to dominate all conversations. It’s as if only their opinion matters, and what others say is worthless. We’ve all experienced meetings where one individual refuses to remain silent and give the floor to others. They often interrupt coworkers and use obvious body language when not the center of attention. This behavior is bad enough from a peer, but worse from a group leader. Nobody likes a
“know-it-all.”
Preparing to Talk vs. Listening
I have a colleague who is fond of saying, “Most people are preparing to talk rather than listen.” I must admit to catching myself in this mode more often than I would like. You start to ignore or only half-listen to what others are saying, waiting for your chance to interject and share your thoughts. As a result, you often miss valuable information, repeat what someone else has already said, and demotivate the other party in the conversation from continuing to engage. This vicious cycle ultimately results in you delivering a monologue to an uninterested audience. When people start to ignore what you are saying as a leader, you are in trouble.
Facilitate, Don't Dominate
Leaders have the responsibility to
foster rigorous debate and dialogue, not inhibit it. Your goal is to make informed decisions and produce the best possible solutions. The more people who participate in this process, the better. The
most effective way to achieve this is to ask thoughtful questions and listen attentively to what others are saying. You need to facilitate the conversation rather than lead it.
No one person has all the answers. The loudest person in the room is rarely the most intelligent; they crave more attention. In my experience, a significant reason
businesses don’t grow is that the leader feels they must have all the answers rather than building a team of competent professionals and leveraging the skills and experience of those around them.
Less Is More
When I was a kid, my mom used to often say, “Less is more.” It took me too long to figure out what she meant. It’s not about how much you say, but what you are actually saying. And,
if you want people to listen to you, you need to listen to them. The best leaders I know pick their spots. They do their best to take it all in and only contribute when they feel they can add value or need to move things along. If you are thoughtful about when you speak, people tend to pay attention. If your ego prompts you to dominate conversations, then don’t be surprised if you find leadership to be a lonely place and continued success a challenging endeavor.
Listening well is an often underrated yet vitally important leadership trait.
