ue bot icon

Daily Leadership Thought #89 – Listen Until It Hurts

February 4, 2011

Daily Leadership Thought #89 – Listen Until It Hurts

Table of Contents

Someone once told me to listen until it hurts, a statement that has since stayed with me.

Have you ever noticed that it’s a unique experience when you meet someone who is a good listener? In fact, encountering someone who is a skilled listener is so rare that you can’t help but acknowledge it and find yourself drawn to them. Most of us, including myself, are usually focused on preparing to talk rather than listening. We are thinking about what we are going to say before the other person has even finished what they want or need to say. Sadly, we usually know what we are going to say before they are even halfway through their thought. If the other person is responding similarly, you can see why there is so much confusion and misunderstanding in the world.

When you are a leader or manager, part of your job is to listen until it hurts. You need to force yourself to pay full attention to what the other person is saying and then ask clarifying questions to make sure you fully understand them. It’s essential to pay attention to body language and tone, as well as spoken words. Both provide clues as to what is important to that person. Authentic listening is a skill that requires practice, dedication, and effort. It is also becoming increasingly difficult in this fast-paced, technology-driven, attention-deficit-inducing world.

Too much valuable information is missed in everyday conversation. Ironically, this is especially true with verbal people who tend to talk instinctively rather than listen. When people don’t feel heard, they give up on the conversation and look for an exit cue (either passively or aggressively). We’ve all been impressed many times by others who, although not known as great communicators, suddenly inject some profound wisdom into a situation. They were always wise; they just needed a chance to speak and someone to listen to them. The loudest people are rarely the brightest. They just naturally demand the most attention. Just imagine how much value is lost every day due to our inability to listen well, failing to ask good questions, and not considering what has already been said before speaking.

Follow our business development newsletter

We have a weekly newsletter packed full of weekly updates of latest content posted here.

‘Ask Ed’ AI Chatbot: Ed has developed this chatbot to allow you to easily access the content he has complied over the last 30 years as a business and leadership coach. Click ‘Ask Ed’ below to get your questions answered.