It’s extremely hard to achieve success and/or high performance without some level of conflict. It is through dialogue and debate that we hone our abilities to ask the right questions and push for the best solutions. Leaders and managers need to embrace this concept and get comfortable both encouraging and managing differences of opinion and disagreements.
It appears that the voices of those seeking to divide us and emphasize our hardships and problems have grown louder. They are experts at pointing out issues but often fail to provide viable solutions. It's…
The only way to survive a crisis or challenge is to first accept that it exists and then work TOGETHER toward finding the strength and wisdom to identify options and implement the best…
I am regularly surprised by the lack of conversational courage in professional circles these days. Not every conversation ends up with a positive outcome. Occasionally, you must deliver disappointing information. You may even…
The best leaders encourage dissent through rigorous dialogue and debate. They care less about who’s right and more about getting to the right answer. They shift some of the decision-making burden from themselves…
Let’s acknowledge the overwhelming number of good, decent people taking a peaceful stand for the rights of their fellow citizens. Let’s create a future history that we can all be proud of and…
Whenever you get a disproportionately angry response from someone, there is usually something else deeper going on. People don’t normally go from 0-60 emotionally in a noticeably brief time span unless they are…
We don't need leaders who divide and conquer us, manipulating vulnerable situations to suit their ends. For those who love history, please remember that Machiavelli’s story didn't end well. Power should be used judiciously. What…
I don't claim to know all the facts leading up to the recent demonstrations and violence that happened 50 miles from my doorstep. And, I don't trust the media to provide an objective…
Leadership requires a thick skin. It certainly has its ups and downs and can test anyone’s emotional fortitude. However, this is precisely the reason why so few people can do it well. If…
Anger is a part of life. Everybody gets angry sometimes. You wouldn't be human if you didn't access all of your emotions occasionally. However, I highly encourage you to pay attention to your…
Not only is it okay to disagree, but it should be encouraged. Our democracy is partially founded upon this basic principle. Our Founding Fathers understood that critical thinking is a societal imperative. However,…
Today I received some very disturbing news. It was information that would make anyone angry. There is nothing worse than betrayal especially when you have a long history with someone and have trusted…
All organizations are held together by their center, not by their polar opposites. There is a time for debate, and there is a time for compromise. There is a time to be cautious,…
While email and text messaging are effective communication tools, they are often inadequate vehicles for resolving conflict. Sadly, they can be used very effectively for instigating conflict. I have seen passive-aggressive behavior taken to…
In organizations as in democracies the inability to foster constructive conflict is a troubling development. To grow and get better, there needs to be disagreement about how to best do things and find…
One of the hardest lessons I've had to learn as an adult is the importance of "letting go.” When life gets hard or you feel wronged or things don't go your way it's…
When I was a young boy, my mother used to say to me when I was angry (which wasn't very often) to "count to ten before saying or doing anything." The mere fact…
Disagreement is a fact of life. You cannot expect to reach complete agreement with someone on every issue. Every individual perceives the world from a slightly distinct perspective. What matters is how we…
t never ceases to amaze me how much a group of people can accomplish if no one individual cares too much about who gets the credit. However, in most organizations, there is far…
High-performing organizations don't shy away from disagreement. In fact, they encourage constructive conflict between team members. The best solutions are rarely the ones where everyone comes to the same conclusion right away. Different…
Getting Along If you lead people, you lead through friction—clashing styles, mixed agendas, and the pressure to hit goals without drama. You don’t have time to play therapist, and you can’t afford to…
Arbinger’s core idea is simple and unsettling: when we betray our own sense of what’s right toward others, we feel the need to justify ourselves. That self-justification is self-deception—what the book calls being…
Getting to Yes, And How improv builds better teams, faster decisions, and real momentum.Inspired by Bob Kulhan’s book Getting to “Yes And”: The Art of Business Improv (Stanford Business Books, 2017). Most teams…
American Dialogue What It’s Really About This is not just a history book. It’s a warning. Joseph Ellis takes you back to the early years of the United States and shows you something…
Most people negotiate as if the goal is compromise. Meet in the middle. Be reasonable. Split the difference. Voss says that this is often lazy thinking. Sometimes, landing in the middle can be…
Conversational Capacity There’s a reason this book keeps showing up in serious leadership circles. It addresses a problem most leaders feel but can’t quite name. Conversations break down. Not because people lack intelligence—but…
Fierce Conversations is built on a simple, uncomfortable truth: the conversation you’re avoiding is often the one that will change everything. Susan Scott doesn’t frame leadership as strategy or vision alone—she frames it…
On Leadership and Business doesn’t chase theory. It doesn’t try to impress. It goes straight at the real work—what leaders do, what they avoid, and what it costs them over time. This is…
Reflections on Life and Leading This book reads like a distillation of years spent in rooms where decisions mattered—where leaders had to look at themselves honestly and then go do something about it.…
Several years ago, a colleague’s comments encouraged me to revisit the book, The Road Less Traveled, by M. Scott Peck. I am glad this happened because it resonated much differently with me twenty…
Chapter 1: What Are You Afraid Of? Level 1 Fears – The Surface Story; Exterior Situations Those That Happen Those Requiring Action Aging Going Back to School Becoming Disabled Making Decisions Retirement Changing…
