Leadership Thought #439 – It’s Okay To Disagree
Being able to disagree well is part of becoming a well-functioning adult.
At what point did it stop becoming okay to have a different opinion in our country? I just finished reading the newspaper, and yet again, having a different perspective quickly degraded into personal attacks by both parties. We have become a hypersensitive generation that can’t seem to tolerate perspectives that differ from our own. A democratic culture is designed to foster an environment of healthy debate, which should ultimately lead to the best possible outcomes for the majority of people. It is through exchanging wide-ranging ideas, striving to uncover the facts, and challenging status quo thinking that we move forward as a nation. Debate is a good thing! And guess what – no one party or individual has a monopoly on good ideas. Your side won’t always win the argument or election, and that is how it should be. If you consistently follow the party line, you become an ideologue rather than a free thinker.
I’ve always felt that the person who quickly resorts to personal attacks either knows they’ve a weaker argument or doesn’t understand the issue(s) to begin with. It’s also well-known in mental health circles that fear lurks behind every disproportionate emotional reaction. Fear of what, you may ask – this is always a good question and worth probing. Moreover, fear often manifests itself as anger. It also makes someone easier to manipulate. Sadly, many of us tend to be attracted to stronger personalities who offer simple, untested answers to complex problems. Charisma does not necessarily equate to intelligence, nor is it an entirely accurate reflection of character. The ensuing herd mentality that follows can be a scary thing to watch. You’re either with me or against me is a very slippery slope that, in its worst form, triggers verbally abusive and/or physically violent reactions. It’s far too easy to find a scapegoat as to why your own life or society isn’t working exactly as you’d like it to be, rather than look in the mirror. We all have underlying motivations…
We need to stop rewarding dysfunctional, childlike behaviors by our public officials, business leaders, and media personalities. Why elect or reward someone who is a close-minded bully? If your ideas cannot withstand public scrutiny, then that is a concern for you to address, not me. Yelling at someone or talking over them indicates poor manners, not much else. If you are unwilling to listen to what someone else has to say, then by definition, you aren’t communicating. Your opponent is not the enemy; they are simply someone with a different perspective. Take the time to understand their perspective and examine the evidence they use to support their beliefs. Present your viewpoint, and then endeavor to establish a shared understanding or reach a compromise. Sometimes, it’s necessary to accept disagreement. Never fall in love with your opinions. You don’t have to win every argument, but you are supposed to grow and evolve in your thinking as a human being.
Not only is it okay to disagree, but it should be encouraged. Our democracy is partially founded upon this basic principle. Our Founding Fathers understood that critical thinking is a societal imperative. However, how one disagrees is an entirely different story. Winning isn’t everything. How and why you win matters. Strive to elevate the level of discourse in your personal and professional dealings rather than lower it. Hold others accountable for aberrant or unproductive behavior, rather than cheering them on when it suits your interests. Never forget that who you follow is a direct reflection of who you are. If a topic is important to you, then take the time to study it rather than jumping to quick conclusions. Open your mind to what others have to say, even if you initially disagree with them. You may learn something in the process, and we will all be better off as a result.
Related articles
- Agree to disagree peacefully (timsirai.wordpress.com)
- Secrets of Leadership: The Art of Confrontation (toniimsen.com)
- How Are You Connecting With People? (lalitaraman.com)
- Take the opportunity today to have a debate about something you believe in. (thechangeyourlifeblog.wordpress.com)
- Argumentation and Debate: Critical Thinking for Reasoned Decision Making (Wadsworth Series in Speech Communication) e-book (uhwexemi.wordpress.com)
- Poem #5: Agree to Disagree? (amateurpoems101.wordpress.com)
