Leadership requires a thick skin. It certainly has its ups and downs and can test anyone’s emotional fortitude. However, this is the very reason so few people can do it well. If you take every small slight and failure personally, the job will eat you alive. Whenever you assume a position of responsibility, you automatically also assume a roster of critics and malcontents who aren’t always aligned with your leadership vision. Since you can’t realistically fire everyone who disagrees with you (nor is this advisable), then you need to figure out other ways to handle the pressures and scrutiny.
I’ve found that the best leaders I work with welcome the criticism. They don’t always like it, but they accept that a key aspect of leading people is harnessing disparate points of view and feelings. I don’t care how smart you are, no one person has all the right answers. And, since we are all human, we will inevitably make mistakes. To some extent, your critics keep you on your toes. They help you maintain your ‘A game” and not allow you to take your position for granted. If you are willing to listen to and embrace their feedback, you will definitely make better decisions. Of course, there will always be points of diminishing returns, but don’t be too quick to assume you’ve reached this level of dysfunction. Getting better often involves hard work.
In my life I’ve found that if you can navigate the rocky waters of professional disagreement effectively, then you actually end up building new advocates for your point of view. Sometimes the people who were most resistant initially end up becoming your most loyal colleagues. Give me someone who is up front and honest with their opinions over someone who is more passive-aggressive any day. Healthy relationships are only ever possible if people can be authentically honest with one another. I’ve also found that much of the initial angst and tension between two people is often due to poor communication and misunderstandings.
Leadership means embracing the spotlight not withering under it. The very act of putting yourself out there and assuming others will follow is an act of unusual self-confidence. Most people are hard-wired to follow not lead. However, everyone has opinions on what you should be doing. So be it. As they saying goes, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.” As a leader you will have good days and bad ones. You will make great decisions and have many others you will want to take back. You will trust people who disappoint you and lose good people to your competition. You will be forced to make decisions with imperfect information and sometimes fail as result. Many external market forces will be beyond your control to predict and/or influence. Some of your employees will make your life easier while others will require more work than you’d like. Not everyone will always think you are wonderful.
However, when all is said and done, leaders are in the minority people in this world who get to actually influence the future. They ultimately “reap what they sow” as a business and individual. Leaders have the opportunity to make a real positive difference in the lives of their family, employees and community. Maybe even this world. Leaders get to stretch their personal capabilities in ways others will never experience. Their life is of their own making. Aren’t the benefits of leadership worth a little scrutiny and criticism? You need to have thick skin to lead others and it is almost always worth it!