Concern For Our Kids…
I’m genuinely concerned about the artificial reality we create for kids today. Everyone receives a medal or award, and we strive to avoid disappointment and/or adversity at all costs. We are also teaching our kids that they are the center of the family universe, and everything revolves around them: their needs, wants, etc. If we let them think everything they do is exceptional, then ultimately nothing they do will be. We allow them to continually isolate themselves socially and retreat into the comfort of impersonal technological communication, without understanding the dynamics of human and social interaction. We idolize their youth but then push them to grow up too fast and act older than they are. It’s as if a whole generation of parents is trying to make up for perceived deficiencies from their childhood. We are forgetting our roles as parents, coaches, and teachers, instead aiming to become friends, cheerleaders, and positive psychologists.
I can readily see the impact of these misguided attitudes on younger employees entering the workforce today. They exhibit irreverence, have poor work habits, and have high expectations for rapid advancement and gratification, struggling greatly when things don’t go as planned. Indeed, their concern for certain things is profound, but it’s primarily driven by their own interests and a narrow view of reality, rather than what truly serves the greater good. They have strong, albeit inexperienced, opinions on issues, yet rarely exhibit the courage of their convictions—witness their apathy in the last election. They often lack initiative or drive and expect things to fall into place as they suit them. The more they get, the more they want, and the less joy they derive from the privilege of receiving.
The goal of any society should be to secure the future of the next generation by providing them with the skills, talents, and attitudes necessary for survival and success. Every generation will undoubtedly have to deal with some level of uncertainty and challenge as they assume responsibility for their own destiny (and that of others). The world is becoming even more interconnected, complex, and dynamic every day. More, not less, will be required of the leaders in the future. It won’t be enough for them to expect things to turn out okay. They will have to make tough choices, manage conflict, and exhibit the strength of personal character and judgment.
Our kids need to understand that things don’t always work out as planned, and they must learn and grow from these experiences. They need to appreciate that there is a direct correlation between effort and outcomes and that hard work is not only required but should be valued. They must understand that success requires competitiveness, and winning means there will be losers and different rewards. Furthermore, critical thinking involves more than simply searching for the solution online. They need to think through and defend their opinions and positions with sound judgment and analysis. Lastly, true growth and happiness in life require a certain level of personal awareness and sacrifice, including sometimes putting the needs of others first and forgoing short-term gains.
Please don’t consider this just a rant but a wake-up call. We are not doing our kids a favor by setting them up for disappointment and failure. There aren’t enough therapists and proven medications to address the issue, nor should there be. Life is a hero’s journey, and the hero is born out of his or her ability to navigate the inevitable twists and turns along the way. It is also a function of an individual’s ability to honestly look in the mirror and take responsibility for their actions and decisions. In most cases, assuming the role of victim is a choice. We will all confront adversity and experience loss throughout our lives. And we will either grow or wither because of this reality. In a child’s life, parents and other adults lay either a strong or shaky foundation.
Of course, the duality principle of existence thankfully ensures that there will also be moments of happiness and personal fulfillment in an individual’s life. However, I contend that an individual’s sense of context and perspective will only amplify these experiences. Life isn’t always easy, but it is rewarding if you and your children approach it in the right way.
