I have always envied people with no problems sleeping, although this number is small, especially as you age. My sister used to joke that sleeping poorly is a sign of a guilty conscience. I certainly hope not. I believe it reflects your diet, exercise, sleep habits, and what you’re thinking about. Some nights I sleep deeply, while other nights I seem to wake up sporadically throughout the night and never quite drift off as I need to. It can all get frustrating if you let it get to you.
I received some great advice a long time ago. Never lie in bed tossing and turning on those nights you can’t sleep. Get up and do something. If there is something pressing on your mind, put your thoughts down on paper. Brainstorm viable solutions. Think through different scenarios and what you could do should they happen. I keep an extra journal near my bed for this very purpose.
If nothing pressing is on your mind, get out of bed, find a comfortable chair, and read a book or magazine that isn’t too deep or thought-provoking. Let your mind wander a bit and escape somewhere else. You will find it won’t take too long before you’re ready to try to fall asleep again. I usually include a ritual where I make myself some “Sleepy Time” tea, which also helps calm me down a bit.
I have also practiced meditation and breathing exercises with varying degrees of success. There is an instructional CD that I sometimes play where the narrator’s voice is soft, reassuring, and easy on the ear. If I don’t fall asleep immediately, I feel more relaxed after listening to it. I received this as a welcome gift package when staying at a hotel many years ago, including earplugs and a blindfold—neither of which worked for me, but I have heard they help others. Each room had a white noise machine, which distracts me but has always helped one of my kids.
Whatever you do, don’t turn on the TV or make yourself a snack. The former usually provides too much mental stimulation, making you wake up even more. You may even buy things at 2 AM that you later regret. If it becomes a habit, the latter will lead to unnecessary weight gain. It may also adversely affect your sleep depending on what you eat. I also don’t like sleeping pills because they can lead to misuse and dependency. Additionally, avoid becoming obsessed with the amount of sleep you are missing. It’s been ingrained in all our minds that we need 8 hours of sleep. Not hitting this total on a given night shouldn’t ruin your day or make you unhappy.
Finally, if you share a bed, it’s unfair to make the other person suffer through your tossing and turning. At some point, you will wake them up, and the other person will have difficulty falling back asleep. The next day, you will have two people who are tired and cranky rather than just one. I have always believed that my problems should not become someone else’s problems unless they are the source of the issue.
Very few people get 8 hours of sound sleep every night. I also don’t believe everyone needs the same amount of sleep. We will have good nights and bad nights. If you are experiencing persistent insomnia, it’s a separate problem that requires professional assistance. Otherwise, accept that, like most things in life, there will be ups and downs.
When you can’t sleep, get up and do something else. Eventually, you’ll get tired again, and you’ll fall asleep. Take control of your sleep, or lack thereof. Don’t let it control you. Tossing and turning in bed will never work and only make a frustrating situation worse.
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- Tory Burch: The Art Of Sleeping (huffingtonpost.com)