Are You Growing…or Just Staying Busy? The Discipline Behind Intentional Personal Growth

After 23 years as a Vistage Chair and a total of 30 years in professional services, seeing more than 1,000 speakers, earning an MBA, teaching graduate school for 11 years, going through decades of leadership development training, and researching and writing several books and almost 1,000 blogs… I still feel like I don’t know enough. My personal growth still needs work.

That used to bother me. It doesn’t anymore.

Because at some point, you realize something important:

Growth isn’t about what you know. It’s about how intentional you are about learning what you don’t know.

And here’s the reality most people miss:

Most people don’t have a growth problem—they have a structure problem.

Personal Growth Starts With Identifying the Gaps

If you want to get better, you have to start with an honest look in the mirror:

• Where am I today?
• Where do I want to be?
• What do I need to learn in order to get there?

That gap—between where you are and where you want to be—is where all growth lives.

High performers don’t ignore that gap. They define it, and then they go to work on it with purpose.

Feed Your Mind—On Purpose

Once you understand the gap, the next step is simple in theory but hard in practice: consistently expose yourself to information that helps you close it.

That means:

• Watching
• Reading
• Listening

Not everything you consume will resonate. Some of it you may disagree with. Some of it won’t feel immediately useful.

That’s fine.

The discipline of consistently feeding your mind—especially with ideas that challenge your thinking—expands your perspective over time.

This isn’t about agreeing. It’s about growing.

Focus Your Learning Where It Matters

This is where most people go wrong—they learn randomly.

Real personal growth is targeted.

You have to ask:

• What does success actually require in my role?
• Where am I falling short?
• What skills or knowledge would move the needle the most?

When you align your learning with what’s actually required—not just what’s interesting—you accelerate your progress.

Build a System That Works for You

Now that you know what to learn, the next step is how you learn.

Everyone is different.

• Some people learn best in the morning, others at night
• Some prefer short bursts, others need longer, focused sessions
• Some are visual, some auditory, some hands-on

If your learning system doesn’t fit you, you won’t stick with it.

Also, pay attention to the people you admire. Who are your role models? How do they learn? How do they capture and apply what they know?

There’s a lot to be gained by studying not just what successful people know, but how they got there.

Seek Feedback—Even When It’s Uncomfortable

At some point, learning has to turn into awareness.

And that’s where feedback comes in.

I’m a big believer in 360° feedback:

• Direct reports
• Peers
• Supervisors

Each group sees a different version of you.

If you’re willing to get curious about how you’re perceived—rather than defensive—you’ll start to see patterns.

You’ll see your gaps more clearly.

Combine that with honest self-reflection, and you begin to understand not just what needs to change, but why it matters.

Challenge What You Think You Know

Here’s where intentional personal growth separates itself from surface-level learning.

It’s not just about adding new information. It’s about being willing to rethink old beliefs.

That’s uncomfortable—but necessary.

We spend a lot of time today focused on technical skills, and that’s important. But if you’re leading people, technical knowledge isn’t enough.

You need context.

That’s where the broader disciplines come in:

• Philosophy
• History
• Psychology
• Sociology

These help you understand how people think, how they behave, and why they make the decisions they do.

That understanding is what separates managers from leaders.

Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

There will be moments where learning feels hard.

You’ll hit something that doesn’t come naturally. You’ll feel behind. You’ll think, “Maybe this just isn’t for me.”

That’s the moment that matters—because most people stop there.

Don’t.

I’ve had that experience plenty of times. One recent example is AI. I wouldn’t describe myself as highly technical, but I’ve leaned into it because I know it can make me better.

I watched. I practiced. I stuck with it.

Over time, I got better.

That’s how personal growth works. Not through talent—but through persistence.

Think Elastic, Not Static

One of the biggest differences I see in leaders is how they think.

Some think in a static way:
They rely on what they already know and defend it.

Others think in an elastic way:
They actively look for what they don’t know.

Elastic thinkers:

• Ask more questions
• Seek different perspectives
• Adjust when new information shows up

Static thinkers:

• Stay in their comfort zone
• Filter out opposing views
• Miss opportunities to improve

You can see the scenario play out in real time.

Put two leaders in the same meeting. One hears new information and immediately pushes back—because it doesn’t align with one’s experience. The other pauses, asks questions, and considers what they might be missing.

One protects their knowledge. The other expands it.

Over time, the gap between those two approaches becomes significant.

Start With the Right Questions

The best learning always starts with clarity.

What problem are you trying to solve?
What question are you trying to answer?

When you’re clear on that, your learning becomes focused and efficient.

Without that clarity, you end up consuming information without direction—and very little of it sticks.

Capture What You Learn

If you don’t capture it, you lose it.

For me, that’s journaling.

It doesn’t have to be perfect. Some days it’s detailed, other days it’s simple. What matters is consistency.

At the end of the day, I reflect on:

• What I learned
• What I observed
• How I showed up

That habit turns experiences into insights—and insights into better decisions.

Turn Knowledge Into Action

This is where everything either pays off or doesn’t.

I tell my clients this all the time:

Knowledge without action is just the passage of time.

If you want learning to stick, do two things:

First, share it.
Teach someone what you just learned—your team, your spouse, a colleague. Teaching forces you to process it differently.

Second, apply it.
Within 30 days—ideally sooner—use it.

You don’t need to apply everything. But when something truly resonates—when it’s relevant—that’s your opportunity.

Ask yourself: how can I use this in a practical way?

That’s how learning becomes real. That’s how it becomes part of how you operate—not just something you heard once.

Growth Is About Adaptability

So I’ll come back to the question.

Are you growing?

Because in today’s environment, standing still isn’t really an option.

People often say it’s the strongest who survive. That’s not quite right.

It’s the most adaptable.

And adaptability comes from a willingness to:

• Learn
• Adjust
• Keep evolving

A Final Challenge

Don’t confuse activity with growth.

Be intentional:

• Define your gap.
• Feed your mind.
• Focus your learning.
• Seek feedback.
• Challenge your thinking.
• Push through discomfort.
• Capture what you learn.
• And most importantly—act on it.

Because the leaders who keep learning aren’t just more informed.

They’re more effective.

And over time, that’s what separates those who grow… from those who simply stay busy.

Even after 30 years, I’m still learning. The question is, are you?