In life and business, everyone has an agenda, and that is OKAY. In fact, it is to be expected. Most people live their day-to-day existence in a subjective mindset. We all want answers to the same questions. What are your expectations of me? How does this affect me? What do I need to gain or stand to lose from this situation? In addition, as hard as we try, what others have to say isn’t as important as what we want to say (or so we think). All of this is simply a matter of basic human nature.
Work With People's Agendas, Not Against Them
Instead of trying to fight this reality, go with it. Be upfront; ask people what they genuinely want to have happen, their concerns about making it happen, etc. As the saying goes, “If you want to be viewed as a good conversationalist, simply ask people about themselves and just let them talk.” Their responses will reveal the keys to success. Stay focused on the “why” before jumping to the “what.” Then, once you have established the connection, share with them your thoughts and what you want to make happen. Explain how you benefit and why your request also helps advance their own agenda. Be inquisitive, but also be honest, and good things will happen.Related articles
- The Art of Conversation: How to Avoid Conversational Narcissism (artofmanliness.com)
- Strangers at the Party (civilityisnotdead.wordpress.com)
- Genuine Curiosity Can Lead to Personal and Professional Growth (launchingliveswebsite.wordpress.com)