What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It)
Self-Awareness Isn’t What You Think—It’s Deeper, Rarer, and More Essential Than Ever
In Harvard Business Review’s article “What Self-Awareness Really Is — and How to Cultivate It,” organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich argues that self-awareness is one of the most important — and misunderstood — leadership capabilities. Published January 4, 2018, the article draws on Eurich’s large-scale research program to explain why many people believe they are self-aware while far fewer actually are. (hbr.org)
For business leaders, the article is especially useful because it reframes self-awareness as more than introspection. True self-awareness requires both internal clarity — understanding one’s values, aspirations, reactions, strengths, weaknesses, and impact — and external clarity — understanding how others actually experience us. Eurich’s core message is that leaders become more effective when they balance both. (hbr.org)
Executive summary for business leaders
Overarching theme: Self-awareness is a leadership performance capability, not a personality trait or reflective exercise. Eurich notes that research links clearer self-perception with confidence, creativity, better decisions, stronger relationships, more effective communication, better work performance, promotions, stronger leadership, more satisfied employees, and more profitable companies. (hbr.org)
The article identifies three especially important findings: there are two types of self-awareness, experience and power can make leaders less self-aware, and introspection can backfire when people ask themselves the wrong questions. The practical leadership lesson is clear: leaders should seek honest feedback, understand how others see them, and shift from asking “why” questions that trigger rumination to “what” questions that create learning and action. (hbsp.harvard.edu)
Major takeaways
1. Self-awareness is rarer than most leaders think
Eurich argues that although most people believe they are self-aware, true self-awareness is uncommon. That matters because overconfidence in one’s self-knowledge can blind leaders to how their behavior affects others. (hbr.org)
Business implication: Leaders should not assume that confidence, experience, or seniority equals self-awareness. They need evidence from feedback, behavior, and outcomes.
2. There are two types of self-awareness
Eurich distinguishes between internal self-awareness, or how clearly people understand themselves, and external self-awareness, or how clearly they understand how others see them. Her research found that these two dimensions are not necessarily correlated. A leader can be high in one and low in the other. (wnccumc.org)
Business implication: A leader who understands their own values but ignores external feedback may have serious blind spots. A leader who is highly attuned to others but unclear about their own values may become overly approval-driven.
3. Internal self-awareness supports well-being and satisfaction
Internal self-awareness includes understanding one’s values, passions, aspirations, fit with the environment, reactions, strengths, weaknesses, and impact on others. Eurich’s research links it to higher job and relationship satisfaction, happiness, and personal control, as well as lower anxiety, stress, and depression. (s3.eu-west-1.wasabisys.com)
Business implication: Leaders who know what drives them are more likely to make choices aligned with their strengths, values, and energy rather than reacting to pressure or status.
4. External self-awareness improves relationships and leadership effectiveness
External self-awareness means understanding how other people view us. Eurich’s research suggests that people who understand how others see them are better at empathy and perspective-taking, and that leaders whose self-perception matches employees’ perceptions tend to have stronger relationships with employees. (wnccumc.org)
Business implication: Leaders need candid feedback systems, not just private reflection. The leadership experience employees have may differ sharply from the leader’s intentions.
5. Experience can reduce self-awareness
One of the article’s counterintuitive findings is that experience can hinder self-awareness. As leaders become more experienced, they may become more confident in their assumptions and less likely to seek disconfirming feedback. (hbsp.harvard.edu)
Business implication: Seniority should increase humility, not reduce it. The more power and experience a leader has, the more deliberately they need to seek truth from others.
6. Power can create blind spots
Eurich’s work warns that power can make leaders less open to feedback and more insulated from how others really experience them. People may also become less willing to speak honestly to senior leaders. (hbsp.harvard.edu)
Business implication: Executives need structured feedback channels because informal feedback becomes less reliable as hierarchy increases.
7. Introspection is not always helpful
The article challenges the assumption that looking inward automatically creates self-awareness. Eurich argues that introspection can sometimes lead to rumination, distorted explanations, or false certainty, especially when people ask “why” questions. (hbsp.harvard.edu)
Business implication: Reflection should be disciplined. Leaders should avoid endlessly asking “Why am I this way?” and instead ask questions that lead to insight, choice, and behavior change.
8. Ask “what,” not “why”
One of Eurich’s most practical recommendations is to shift from “why” to “what” questions. “Why” questions can trap people in defensive explanations or unproductive rumination. “What” questions tend to be more future-oriented and action-oriented. (wnccumc.org)
Business implication: Instead of asking, “Why did I fail in that meeting?” a leader might ask, “What can I do differently in the next meeting to invite more input?”
9. Honest feedback requires “loving critics”
Eurich recommends seeking feedback from people who are honest, supportive, and invested in the leader’s success. These “loving critics” can help leaders understand how they are experienced without simply flattering or attacking them. (wnccumc.org)
Business implication: Leaders should intentionally build a small circle of trusted truth-tellers who will offer direct feedback with good intent.
10. Self-awareness must become a leadership habit
The article’s most useful message is that self-awareness can be cultivated, but not through occasional reflection alone. It requires ongoing feedback, curiosity, humility, better questions, and behavior change. (hbr.org)
Business implication: Organizations should treat self-awareness as a core leadership competency in hiring, promotion, coaching, succession, and executive development.
Leadership talking points
Self-awareness is not just knowing yourself; it is knowing how others experience you.
Leaders need both internal clarity and external feedback.
Experience and power can reduce self-awareness unless leaders actively seek dissenting perspectives.
Reflection is useful only when it leads to insight and action.
The best feedback comes from people who are candid, trusted, and invested in your success.
Asking “what” creates forward motion; asking “why” can create defensiveness or rumination.
Self-awareness should be built into leadership development, not left to personal preference.
Reflection questions
Do I understand my values, strengths, weaknesses, reactions, and impact on others?
How closely does my view of myself match how my team experiences me?
Who are my “loving critics,” and do I ask them for honest feedback regularly?
Where might my experience or seniority be making me overconfident?
Do people tell me the truth, or do they tell me what they think I want to hear?
When I reflect on setbacks, do I ask “why” questions that keep me stuck or “what” questions that help me act?
What behavior would I change if I fully believed the feedback I have already received?
Potential action items
Conduct a 360-degree feedback process for senior leaders and high-potential managers.
Ask each executive to identify two or three trusted “loving critics” who can provide candid, recurring feedback.
Add self-awareness questions to leadership coaching, performance reviews, and succession planning.
Train leaders to use “what” questions during reflection, debriefs, and difficult conversations.
Create psychological safety so employees can share upward feedback without fear of retaliation.
Encourage leaders to compare intent and impact after major meetings, decisions, or communications.
Use coaching conversations to distinguish internal self-awareness from external self-awareness.
Build leadership-development programs that include feedback interpretation, emotional intelligence, reflective practice, and behavior-change commitments.
Recommended similar articles
“How Great Leaders Communicate” — A useful HBR companion on how self-aware leaders communicate with clarity, simplicity, and human resonance.
“6 Questions to Find Out How Your Employees Are Really Doing” — A practical HBR article on how managers can ask better questions and listen more deeply.
“4 Styles of Coaching—and When to Use Them” — Helpful for leaders who want to adapt their coaching style based on employee needs and context.
“What I Learned from Daniel Kahneman” — A McKinsey piece on decision biases, overconfidence, groupthink, and how organizations can design better judgment systems.
“How Coach K Does It” — A leadership interview on humility, listening, preparation, accountability, relationships, and coaching.
“20 Qualities of a Bad Leader You Should Avoid” — A useful cautionary piece on behaviors that often reflect low self-awareness, including poor listening, blame-shifting, micromanagement, and unwillingness to change.