Leadership Thought #452 – 4 Things to Get You Through Tough Times
We all must navigate tough times. No one lives a turbulence-free life, although the bumps certainly vary in intensity.
I was talking to my son about his schoolwork and some of his frustrations. He is a good kid who is in all honors classes. I have noticed, though, that as the years go by, school, which was once relatively easy and enjoyable for him, has become much more of a chore. While not commenting on the varying degrees of teacher quality we have encountered along the way (which is troubling), he is going through something that we all experience in life. Our individual curve is rarely always upward sloping, and not everything comes easily for us. Sure, some people are blessed in certain aspects of life, but we all hit periods of frustration, disappointment, and/or low motivation. When you have a passion or care about something, it is much easier to marshal the energy required to work through the rough patches. When it’s something you must do rather than want to do, it’s not always easy.
During our conversation, my son and I discussed four key factors that can help you navigate tough times: Ability, Humility, Effort, and Attitude.
First, we are all born with natural abilities and strengths that make us who we are. It is essential to conduct the self-assessment and reflection necessary to understand what this means for each of us. Often, leveraging these strengths will get you through anything. By contrast, spending too much time mired in your weaknesses is a waste of time. Leaders who excessively focus on their shortcomings often find themselves revisiting and reevaluating their strengths more frequently than necessary. It is okay not to be especially gifted at something if you are aware of your limitations and act accordingly. For example, my son is not great with details, but he can always see the big picture and where things are headed. Instead of trying to work through the details, he needs to step back and begin with the end in mind. The steps will become clearer once he knows where the class or assignment is going. He can then utilize his exceptional people skills to collaborate with others who complement his skills and/or request the appropriate type of help from the teacher once he has gained this clarity.
This brings me to my second point: the importance of humility. No one expects you to know it all. We are usually put off by people who come across this way. It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help, but instead a sign of strength. The leaders I see who struggle the most in life are those who are reluctant to ask for help or leverage the strengths of others. They may have a good run for a period, but their ego becomes the biggest obstacle in their life. The gaps usually show up first in their personal relationships because friends and family are less likely to tolerate this type of behavior than people who are beholden to you for a job. Businesses tend to take off once the leader realizes they don’t have to be the center or source of all judgment and decision-making.
Third, the amount of effort you put into something typically correlates with the outcomes you get. Lazy people usually get marginal or subpar results. Unfortunately, you can be very gifted and lazy, and this catches up with you over time. When I hear a leader claim that they always work best under pressure (especially on critical issues), I know right away that this is a person who only puts forth effort when they must (which is inadvisable). Sure, you may get lucky occasionally, but talent is always vulnerable to others who are better prepared and work harder at being better. Often, all it takes to excel at something is to put in sustained effort.
Finally, attitude is a critical component of success. To paraphrase Henry Ford, “If you think you can or think you can’t, you are probably right.” I rarely see people with a bad attitude excel at anything. Individuals who can “will” themselves through challenges with the right attitude often surprise me. Resilience is a critical character trait that we all need to cultivate in life, and the first step is believing you are capable of handling whatever comes your way. Moreover, you must embrace rather than resist the challenges that await you in life. That doesn’t mean you don’t experience sadness, anger, or frustration occasionally, but rather that you don’t get mired in this thinking to your long-term detriment.
I believe that people who understand what they are naturally gifted at and use their talents to their advantage minimize the negative consequences of their pride and ego and ask for help when needed. They put forth the necessary effort to do a job properly, approach all of this with a positive attitude, and face very few real obstacles in life. I am confident that my son, or anyone’s child for that matter, can effectively deal with whatever barriers life presents if we, as parents, guide them in the right way. Moreover, as leaders, we need to model the behavior we should want to see in others and ourselves. Understanding ability, humility, effort, and attitude is a good starting point.
Related articles
- Measuring Humility and Its Positive Effects (psychologicalscience.org)
- Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, And The Power of Humility in Leadership (fastcompany.com)
- 5 Ways to Stop Focusing on the Obstacles (successify.net)
- My Greatest Strengths and Weaknesses (mindsictportfolio.wordpress.com)
- Leaders with humility succeed (denisgmclaughlin.com)
- Be Human: Be Humble (marketingbackwards.com)
- How to Manage Change (talktonichola.com.au)
