How To Avoid Self-Sabotage

It appears that every day, we read about another famous person or business leader committing self-sabotage in online or print media. It’s as if they can’t help it. There is something about success that turns certain people against themselves. You would think that reaching the top of the mountain in life would be its reward, but such an achievement can amplify an individual’s shortcomings and vulnerabilities, as well as their strengths. Here are six reasons why people end up sabotaging themselves:

First, speaking your mind is a valuable trait, provided it doesn’t degenerate into personal attacks on others. Just because you think something doesn’t always mean you should say it. We all must exercise our censor button on occasion. Your funny or astute observation may not resonate with a larger audience. Of course, in a free society, you should be able to say anything you want, but specific lines you cross at your peril.

Second, it’s also important to have a reasonable familiarity with the key facts before stating a strong opinion. Something our public leaders seem to have forgotten these days. Just because you have strong feelings about something doesn’t make you right. Emotion without thought can be a dangerous combination. You also regularly need to expand your sources of information so you aren’t succumbing to groupthink and ideological tendencies. Sadly, once you have a following, if you are not careful with your statements and assertions, you can ignite behaviors in others that can prove harmful.

Third, some risks are worth it; others are not. Just because you succeeded once by taking a big risk doesn’t mean this is always a wise strategy. Once your decisions start to impact others, you must take those factors into account in your calculations. While it’s important to set ambitious goals and strive for excellence, it becomes increasingly challenging to replicate successful strategies over time. Consequences always exist when you make choices and should be weighed accordingly. Not all cliffs are worth jumping off, especially when you have something significant you could lose.

Fourth, never forget the people who made your success possible. It is rare for someone to be successful alone. There are usually colleagues, friends, and supportive family members who make it all possible. People who cared about you before you were successful are tremendously valuable in life. They tend to be honest and supportive. They are also wary of putting you on a pedestal, which is never good for your ego. Unfortunately, I’ve seen many instances of individuals discarding people in their lives for the attractive allure of a new set of people who they feel are more equal to their new standing in life and /or feed their continual need for validation.

Fifth, change for the sake of change is silly, but I’ve observed many people who have become addicted to it anyway. They can’t stand the status quo even when it is going well. Sometimes you need to pause, catch your breath, and reflect on where you are currently and where you are going. If you consider it carefully, you usually find a preferred roadmap, and most successful journeys include periods of straight lines. It often takes time for change to take root. Change without appropriate execution is just manufactured chaos.

Sixth, enjoying your success is a good thing. Taking it to an extreme is not the case. There are only so many toys/things you can enjoy at any one time. Additionally, something loses its special quality once it becomes commonplace. People will also (to varying degrees) succumb to obvious temptations: food, alcohol, drugs, and sex. We are all vulnerable to certain vices. Be mindful, because too much of a perceived good thing is usually not good. There is a reason the respective highs of certain activities diminish with overuse and become unhealthy habits.

In conclusion, avoid self-sabotage by considering the consequences of your communication, avoiding hasty decisions without a thorough understanding of the relevant facts, refraining from unnecessary or unwise risks, not abandoning the people who contributed to your success, not becoming fixated on change, and not overindulging in the benefits of your success. It is tough to first achieve and then sustain happiness and success over a long life. There are many landmines along the way. Please do your best to avoid them and learn from others’ mistakes.

Related Articles:

• Self-Sabotaging Behaviors & Thoughts: What Causes It and How to Rise Above It (lisajeffs.com)
• How to Stop Self-Sabotaging Yourself (greatergood.com)
• Self-Sabotage: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behaviors (mindtools.com)
• How Self-Sabotage Holds You Back (healthline.com)