Leadership Thought #421 – Listening Is A Lost Art
A conversation without listening is merely the exchange of two monologues. If we limit our exchange of information to what we already know or believe, we are limiting our capacity to learn, grow, and have healthy relationships. Every day, you witness evidence of public or private figures who have no interest in hearing what anyone else is saying. It has become common practice to become intractable in your views and block out any contrary evidence. In reality, our society often rewards brashness and poor behavior these days. Just look at who dominates the airwaves.
I had a wonderful mentor who told me many years ago to “listen until it hurts.” He wisely surmised that this was not a natural strength for me. I consistently found myself preparing to speak instead of engaging in conscious listening. Unsurprisingly, I often had a tough time with people who had a different point of view from mine. It became apparent to me that my confidence quickly became arrogance and smugness from the other person’s perspective.
For another person to have a true connection with you, they need to feel like you care about what they have to say. No one likes being lectured. This does not mean that all opinions are created equal or that facts don’t matter. However, never discount how stubbornly someone will cling to a position if they feel attacked or threatened. To be open to alternative thinking, you must feel safe in the relationship.
Lately, I believe our culture has become so fixated on being right that, both individually and collectively, we struggle to accept the premise of being wrong or only partially correct. The American tendency to “one-up” the other person is our intellectual Achilles’ heel. The whole concept of “exceptionalism” is a very slippery slope. The truth is no one has the market cornered on clever ideas or an unblemished track record. Repeatedly, it has been proven that heterogeneous groups with diverse points of view make better decisions than strong-willed individuals or groups who act in a homogenous fashion.
Listening has become a lost art. I encourage you to try listening until it hurts. Do your best to be present in and stay focused on one conversation at a time. Avoid technological distractions. Strive not to rush to judgment, especially when emotionally triggered; instead, embrace the idea of learning from every interaction. People will open up to you and praise your conversational skills.
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- Sharpen your hearing – become a better listener (tillabrookcoaching.wordpress.com)
- Becoming a Better Listener (crankygiraffe.wordpress.com)
- The Art of Listening (lifeandwrite.com)
- Listening: A Selfless Gift (katypkildee.wordpress.com)
- Receptive Listening = receiving what the speaker… (bloggingthesotsuron.wordpress.com)
- 3 key competencies leaders can influence by LISTENING (thecoachingsource.com)
