The Two Most Important Things a Leader Needs to Be Able to Say

Let me share something I’ve come to believe pretty strongly over the years.

There are two statements every leader needs to be able to say.

Not “should.”
Not “in theory.”
Not “when it’s convenient.”

I mean, truly be able to say them — clearly, comfortably, and without feeling like it makes you look weak.

Here they are:

“I don’t know.”
“I need help.”

And I can’t tell you how many problems I’ve seen created in business because someone simply could not bring themselves to say one of those two sentences.

Not because they weren’t smart.
Not because they weren’t capable.
Not because they weren’t hard-working.

But because their ego got in the way.

1) “I Don’t Know”

Let’s start with the first one:

“I don’t know.”

It’s OK not to know. Nobody knows everything.

And honestly, most of us only know a little.

Now, sure — you might know a lot about a particular category. You might have one area where you’re really strong. You might be the go-to person in your organization on a certain topic.

But in general?

Most of our knowledge is an inch deep and a mile wide.

So, stop putting pressure on yourself that you need to know everything.

That pressure doesn’t make you a better leader.
It just makes you more stressed… and usually more defensive.

Your job isn’t to know everything.

Your job is to get a little bit smarter every day.

Learn something new. Hone in on what you truly need to understand to be great at your job. But never, never be afraid to say:

“I don’t know.”

Because sometimes the journey of trying to figure something out is more important than the answer itself.

It stretches your brain. It sharpens your thinking. It forces you to ask better questions. It changes the way you see the world.

And that makes you a better leader.

People Can Tell When You Don’t Know What You’re Talking About

Let me add something here that a lot of leaders don’t want to admit:

People pick up when you don’t know what you’re talking about. Period.

A lot of leaders think they’re better at spin than they actually are. Period.

They think they can talk their way through it.
They think they can “sound confident” and people won’t notice.

But people notice.

And once people know you’re really just vamping the truth—once they can tell you’re filling space instead of giving clarity—you start to lose credibility.

And credibility is one of those things that doesn’t usually collapse all at once.

It erodes.

A little bit at a time.

And then one day you wake up and realize your team doesn’t trust your judgment the way they used to.

Not because you were malicious.

But because you were trying too hard to protect your image.

“I Don’t Know” Is Also an Ego Check

There’s another reason this matters.

Saying “I don’t know” is one of the best ways to keep your ego in check.

Leaders need that.

Because if you’re going to lead other people, you’ve got to be willing to leverage the people around you.

You’ve got to be willing to ask the expert in the room.

You’ve got to be willing to say, “Hey, I’m not sure about this — what do you think?”

That’s not a weakness. That’s maturity.

That’s confidence.

2) “I Need Help”

Now let’s talk about the second sentence:

“I need help.”

Asking for help is not a weakness.

Now, if you do it all the time — over every little thing that’s slightly challenging — then yes, that becomes a weakness.

But that’s not what most leaders struggle with.

Most leaders I know are self-motivated and self-reliant. They’re used to figuring things out. They’ve spent their whole lives solving problems.

Which means asking for help doesn’t come naturally.

And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen otherwise talented, capable people waste countless hours — sometimes days — trying to power through something alone…

When just a little bit of help would have made the whole journey easier.

Once again:

Nobody knows everything.
Nobody can do everything.

And if you’re in a situation where you don’t understand something — or you’re out of your depth — it absolutely behooves you to seek advice and counsel from people who truly know what they’re doing.

That’s what smart leaders do.

They don’t fake it.
They don’t bluff.
They don’t guess.

They go get help.

Mentors Matter Because Experience Matters

This is also where mentors and guides come in.

Everybody can benefit from someone who has walked the road ahead of them.

Sometimes there is no substitute for experience.

Someone who has already been through what you’re going through can save you from:

• repeating the same mistakes

• stepping into traps you don’t even see coming

• learning expensive lessons the hard way

And that’s not just good leadership.

That’s good business.

The Bigger Issue: You’re Always Modeling Leadership

Here’s something leaders don’t think about enough.

When you say these two things — “I don’t know” and “I need help” — you’re not just helping yourself.

You’re modeling behavior for your leadership team and your staff.

And that matters.

Because some of the most dangerous situations I’ve seen in business happen when so-called subject matter experts don’t understand something…

…and instead of trying to figure it out or asking for help…

They rely on gut instinct.
Or imperfect information.
Or incorrect assumptions.

And then they make a bad judgment call.

And now you’re cleaning up a mess that never needed to happen.

If you’re going to lead others, make sure you lead with humility.

Make sure you have no misplaced ego.

Make sure your people see you being open and honest about what you know and what you don’t know.

Model curiosity.

Leverage the resources around you.

Make new connections with people who know things you don’t.

Find people who have experiences you can benefit from.

Broaden your perspective instead of narrowing it.

Self-Reliance Is Great… Until It Goes Too Far

I’m a big fan of Ralph Waldo Emerson.

I’ve read his essay Self-Reliance many times.

And I do believe, especially during the time he was writing it, that self-reliance was necessary. People out on the frontier — on the edges of civilization — had to learn things as they went.

But we live in a different world today.

Self-reliance taken to an extreme is not a strength. It’s a weakness.

Because nowadays, you literally have all the information in the world at your fingertips.

There’s no reason not to take the time to learn something new.

There’s no reason not to understand something that’s slightly beyond your depth.

And we also have access to other people in ways we never had before.

Networking groups. Online communities. Email. Newsletters. Mentorship. Peer groups. Every platform you can think of.

It’s never been easier to surround yourself with talented, capable, experienced people.

And it’s never been easier to get access to information you don’t have.

Final Thought

So, if you’re a leader who has a hard time admitting what you perceive to be a knowledge gap or capability weakness…

Step back and think again.

Give someone else the opportunity to shine.

And as a result, you’ll get better outcomes, you’ll be less stressed, you’ll grow the capabilities of the people around you, and you’ll enjoy the process a lot more.

And it all starts with being able to say two simple things:

“I don’t know.”
“I need help.”