Leadership Thought #430 – Be True To Your Emotions And Allow Others To Share Their Truth With You
In my line of work, you know you have tapped into a genuine problem when you encounter disproportionate emotions. There have been many times when I have sat across from someone and watched them break down. I learned a long time ago to let the other individual have their moment and not try to downplay or negate their emotion. You do not make someone feel better by making them feel embarrassed or disappointed about their feelings. All of us hit an emotional “brick wall” occasionally and can become frustrated/upset with the rigors of life and work. We all need people we can turn to so we can be our authentic selves, even when the outcome isn’t pretty or easy to watch.
Men are especially hardwired not to show emotion. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve watched another man fight back against their emotional response to something. However, you can always see it in the eyes, which are indeed the “window to the soul.” Pain and sadness are easy to spot but difficult to surface (at least initially). You can only internalize core emotions for so long until the pressure becomes too much to handle. Unfortunately, men seem much more comfortable with anger, which often shrouds these other feelings. Many of us also self-medicate in various ways to numb our response to a given situation.
True love and friendship often require the bravery to pose challenging questions, allowing silence to guide you until you receive an honest response. You must keep digging to uncover the root cause of what is truly happening with those about whom you care. Just make sure you don’t push too hard too soon, and let the other person dictate the pacing if there is progress. You also need to model the behavior you would like to see in others and be vulnerable yourself. It is a professional prerequisite if you have chosen a career that involves helping others navigate the often tumultuous sea of life.
I am glad I grew up in an environment where it was okay to be myself and not hide how I was feeling. My mother and sisters were invaluable in this regard. I firmly believe that leaders who failed to find a suitable outlet for their emotional baggage have initiated wars and driven businesses to ruin. A lack of honest communication and emotional connection often ends many marriages. We all feel something all the time. Usually, we maintain a stable emotional state because the stimuli are benign. However, each of us will inevitably encounter situations that challenge our existing emotional capacity. Embrace these moments as opportunities for growth rather than trying to avoid, suppress, or negate them. Be true to your emotions and allow others to share their truth with you…it will make your life easier, richer, and more meaningful.
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