Leadership Thought #350 – Cultivate Meaningful Friendships
I was in a meeting with a group of leaders the other day, and after being prompted by a question, most of them said that they had many acquaintances but very few friendships. It was clear they weren’t particularly pleased by this fact, but felt their busy life didn’t leave them much of a choice. I find it paradoxical that despite the abundance of ways we have to stay connected with others in this day and age, every study I read indicates that people are feeling lonelier and more disconnected than ever before. This is especially troubling for people in leadership positions because they feel naturally isolated to begin with.
My anecdotal experience is that women are better at starting and maintaining close relationships than men. It is just how they are hardwired. However, even women are now struggling to stay connected with each other under the pressures of busy workweeks, long commutes, and family commitments. Occasionally, it can feel like there is too much to do and not enough hours in the day. When you find yourself in this space, reaching out and prioritizing friendships is hard. However, cultivating meaningful relationships outside your spouse/significant other and family is critical to a happy life.
There needs to be people in your life who don’t primarily see you as a husband, wife, parent, grandparent, son, sibling, extended family member, colleague, or boss. You need to be able to step out from behind a given role and just be you. Good friends allow you to be an individual without any predetermined agenda besides enjoying each other’s company and finding common bonds. You can relax and “let your hair down,” and offer each other support or have fun. You can be “real” without worrying about the consequences of how that might affect the formal relationship. Friendship is always a matter of choice rather than obligation.
If we continually narrow our relationship circles as we age, we risk smothering the remaining people who are left. We also increase our probability of ending up feeling lonely and alone. There is nothing sadder to me than when I attend a funeral and hardly anyone attends, or when someone in a hospital or nursing home gets minimal visitors. Ultimately, our happiness correlates with the quality of relationships we form with others. In the grand scheme of life, acquaintances often fade away and hold little significance. However, going through life building and maintaining good friendships will make the journey less arduous and more meaningful. Don’t get me wrong. Family should always be a top priority, but you must have more than that to live a complete life.
Related articles
- The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis – Friendship (tafacoryideas.wordpress.com)
- Why Good Friends Make You Happy (money.usnews.com)
- How to Get and Keep Friends (gadberry.wordpress.com)
