Daily Leadership Thought #143 – Honesty Shouldn’t Be Optional

Honesty IS always the best policy.

I have seen more damage done in organizations and families by people saying what they think the other person wants to hear rather than by people telling each other the truth. The concept of “white lies” has become so common that most people tell them daily as they go through life.  Instead of dealing with reality, we avoid the discomfort and awkwardness that comes from being honest. You see it everywhere:

• Parents praising kids for mediocrity or, even worse, failure
• Family members supporting decisions they disagree with
• Friends saying something is okay when it really is not
• Employees pretending to buy into ideas they don’t agree with
• Bosses espousing confidence in strategies they are unsure of

The problem with not being truthful is that it often comes back to hurt you. This usually happens in several ways:

• You slip up, and the truth leaks out anyway, making you look like a hypocrite.
• You try to bottle up your true feelings, which never works long-term and ends up with a blowup at an inopportune time.
• You knowingly watch others suffer the consequences of bad decisions or actions and end up resenting them for it.
• Your bond with the other person withers rather than strengthens over time as the secret forms a chasm between the two of you.
• You suffer the collateral damage and inner turmoil of being disingenuous.

We have all heard the adage that “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember what you’ve said.” I have found this to be true in my experience. It can be quite embarrassing to be caught in a lie. In addition, the problem with any behavior is that it can become a habit if you are not careful. If you become comfortable with not being truthful, people will eventually notice and stop believing what you say. People may perceive you as superficial and lacking in depth and integrity.

I am not advocating that you go out of your way to hurt other people’s feelings or use honesty as a license to be mean-spirited. You should always check your true intentions before speaking. Most of your comments are formed based on opinions, not facts, and opinions can be wrong. There are some things that are better left unsaid.

However, when another person seeks your advice and counsel, be honest with them. Don’t feign support for ideas or decisions you don’t believe in. When you are asked direct questions, give truthful answers. You owe that to others in your life and to yourself. Being honest may lead to some challenges along the way, but in the long run, it will make the journey much easier to navigate.

Related articles

• Honesty (coachmejo.wordpress.com)
• A Nature of Truth (hiwaychristian.wordpress.com)
• Honesty is what you need (examiner.com)
• Character Series-Part 3: Honesty Part 2 (runtherace.org)