Leadership Thought #367 – Be Authentic and Honest In Your Communication
The most important thing we do as human beings is communicate with one another. Without honest communication, we would have no idea what the other person is thinking or be able to fully express our thoughts ourselves. In essence, we would all be in the business of mind-reading, which is an inherently flawed skill at best. We’ve all made the mistake of incorrectly assuming another person’s motivations without first speaking to them. I’m always a bit skeptical when someone claims to be good at “reading people” because, in my experience, most people are somewhat complex and not always easy to read. I suppose you could become an expert in body language and verbal intonation; however, the books I’ve read on these topics haven’t been particularly enlightening once you get past some pretty obvious answers. How many times have you thought you knew how someone was truly feeling, only to be surprised later that you were way off the mark?
I find that most of us tend to avoid emotionally difficult or awkward conversations. Rather than confronting a problem directly, we either skirt the issue or attempt to avoid it entirely. This places the onus on the other person to become a verbal detective and/or force the issue, which is unfair to them and us. Moreover, I find that many of these types of exchanges devolve into a passive-aggressive dynamic, which is bad for the relationship. Avoidance never works – it just delays the inevitable. When you don’t express what you truly mean or feel in important matters to you or someone else, you are being inauthentic.
Dealing with emotional discomfort is part of becoming a mature adult. It is an absolute requirement if you want to lead people. If you tell people what they want to hear rather than what you need to say, the relationship is beginning to erode anyway. You will never feel truly close to another person if you can’t be honest with them. And, you will only ever let your guard down if you feel it is a safe, receptive, and trusting environment.
This doesn’t mean you say everything that’s on your mind all the time without any filters. Not everything you think is worth saying (or warranted) given the context of the situation. You should also always check your intentions to make sure they are pure and well-meaning. Occasionally, we say or do things that hurt, rather than help, the other person. However, when it comes to any important relationship, default to being truthful and emotionally authentic. Be real rather than fake. Say what you mean and mean what you say. All great relationships are built on a foundation of constructive dialogue and honest communication.
Related articles
- Communication – No. 3 of Seven Time-Tested Principles (philliphoffman.wordpress.com)
- Reading Between the Lines. (sassanista.wordpress.com)
- Dedication to Truth versus A Dedication to Anything Less (theplacesthatscareyou.wordpress.com)
- Communication and Trust (birdmartin.wordpress.com)
- Level Up Your Communication in Relationships With These 7 Tips (lifehack.org)
- Communication (alternateeconomy.wordpress.com)
- Stop It! Things You Do to Destroy Trust in the Workplace (amandafnewfield.com)
- The Habits of an Empathic Communicator (intentionalworkplace.com)
- Deepening Relationships through Authentic Communication (lisammiranda.com)
