We’ve all heard the adage, “How you begin is how you end.” I’ve always believed this to be true—how you start something often sets the stage for how it unfolds. But, like many of us, I’ve seen situations where a promising start doesn’t necessarily lead to a graceful finish. Sometimes, things that begin with great potential don’t end as beautifully as we hoped.
When you’re starting something new, there’s an undeniable excitement about its potential. You’re future-focused, leaning into the experience to see what it has to offer. The newness of it all creates a thrilling learning curve. Everything feels fresh, and you discover what you like, don’t like, and value. You get a better handle on how to navigate the situation, figure out what to pay attention to, and start to leverage relationships for mutual benefit. In many ways, the beginning is filled with possibility.
But endings? Well, that’s where things often go awry. We often find these situations challenging. There’s usually an element of unnecessary emotion or, worse, we wait too long to deliver news or make decisions, catching people off guard when they least expect it. Sometimes, relationships or situations that begin positively can slowly or even abruptly deteriorate, leading to unresolved or messy outcomes. The reason? People tend to hold onto things—groups, situations, or relationships—making it difficult to let go. And while that attachment is completely understandable, it’s important to remember that the “wake” we leave behind should be a +1.
In other words, whether it’s a relationship, a project, or a phase of life, we should aim to leave things in better condition than when we found them. The goal should always be to make the departure as clean and smooth as possible, not abrupt and filled with unnecessary emotion.
Of course, nothing lasts forever. Everything comes to an end—eventually, even our own existence. While we can’t control every moment of our lives, we do have a lot of influence over what happens in between the “bookends” of beginning and ending. It’s up to us how we close the chapters we’ve opened. We can choose to wrap it all up neatly, with gratitude, or leave things feeling unfinished or lacking.
Life, it seems, is about having experiences—but it’s also about being grateful for those experiences. It’s about learning from them and the people we’ve met along the way. Saying goodbye is never easy, and that’s probably why the Hawaiians have such a beautiful word for it—Aloha. It’s not just a greeting but also a farewell wrapped in love and respect.
Beginnings are easy. Endings are frequently hard or awkward. We should, therefore, exercise greater care and consideration when transitioning from one circumstance to the next. It’s strange how a relationship or situation that’s lasted for years or even decades can unravel so quickly at the end. I like to think of all my past relationships as bridges—each one an opportunity for experience, growth, and connection.
To embrace the future fully, you have to respect the present and honor the past. Currently, you might be beginning something new—or perhaps ending something old. As you reflect on how you felt at the start, full of optimism and hope, ask yourself how you can respect those initial feelings as you plan your exit. After all, as the saying goes, “All’s well that ends well.”
Remember, how we finish is just as important as how we begin. Let’s aim to make our endings as meaningful as our beginnings, leaving behind something positive and full of respect (especially when it is not always easy to do so).