Leadership Thought #482 – We Need Move Toward Not Away From One Another
We need to move toward, not away from, one another.
I worry that lately, we have become a culture that has adopted a “divide and conquer” mindset. Instead of “win-win”, we think “win-lose.” Instead of choosing to coexist with people who think differently from ourselves, we further and further isolate ourselves from others who could potentially expand our thinking. It’s not enough to be right; the other person must be completely wrong, which suggests a certain level of character flaw on their part. Someone is the hero, while someone else is inevitably the antagonist. We tend to select facts that only support our perspective and overlook those that don’t align with our perspective. It is all becoming very troubling, and if we are not careful, it will lead to a dark place. Apart from prisons, building walls between people (and ideas) is a shortsighted strategy.
President Obama was very eloquent on this topic in his farewell address the other night. As usual, his observations were spot-on, and his words were well thought out. This doesn’t mean I agree with everything he says or the positions he has chosen to take (or not take) on a wide variety of issues. It simply means that I can appreciate a fellow human being with numerous obvious talents who has sought and achieved the highest office our country has to offer. I never once rooted for him to fail, even when I disagreed with him. I just hoped he would be mature enough to reach out to others who might alter his perspective and learn from his mistakes. We survived many storms under his watch. There is an integrity about the man that is hard to dispute.
Sometimes good people can disagree, seek compromise, and work it out. It doesn’t take courage to remain steadfast in an unyielding position. It only creates roadblocks to progress between you and another individual or group. The more courageous thing is to try to see things from the other person’s point of view and negotiate common ground. If everything is important to you, then nothing truly is. Selecting your battles is crucial. There should be very few non-negotiables in life. Having to win all the time is a sign of immaturity. Ultimately, it proves to be impossible.
As I age, many of my opinions have changed or altered in some way. I am sure this happens to most people and is a natural and necessary generational tension. I continue to learn a great deal from people who think differently or have had different life experiences. I can honestly say that my humble attempts at success have been bolstered by many people who challenged me to rethink my positions on many things. I have also forged great friendships with people from diverse cultures, political views, faiths (or lack thereof), and sports teams. No one person has a market cornered on clever ideas. And yes, some people know more than you about a particular topic, and you should pay attention to what they have to say! Even our great country was founded on ideas formed by thought leaders from other countries. And, the United States doesn’t get everything right all the time. We may be exceptional, but we aren’t infallible. My mom used to say that “if you are smart enough,h you can learn from everyone, including knowing what not to do.”
Good people will make honest mistakes. You will also stumble many times along your life journey. This experience is supposed to teach us humility, compassion, and empathy. It is also a path toward gaining wisdom. Once we understand this, we are more prone to see other people differently. It especially helps if you believe they come from a place of good intentions (and most people do). The world is not a wasteland! Yes, there is evil in society, but there is much more good. The last thing we need is to separate into our own little bubbles and create chasms between ourselves, allowing others to take advantage of this dynamic. Reality always fills a vacuum, and there are pressing problems surrounding us that need to be addressed.
We don’t need leaders who divide and conquer us, manipulating vulnerable situations to suit their own ends. For those who love history, please remember that Machiavelli’s story didn’t end well. Power should be used judiciously. What is the purpose of leading if you are unable to genuinely assist others in improving their circumstances? Standing at the top of the mountain can be a lonely place if you isolate yourself from others. Instead, we need men and women who unite us around common objectives. Instead of promoting their own arrogance and limited perspectives, we require individuals who are open to listening and learning. Conflict is easy. Negotiation and compromise are hard. Debate is healthy. Character assassination of those with whom we disagree is not healthy. In life, how we act is always a choice, and that includes where we draw our boundaries of decent behavior.
I hope that we can all rally behind our new President, Trump, and congressional leadership. My wish for him is that he grows into the job and is positively shaped by the significance of his position. Yes, there will be disagreements. Those of us on the left may lose some battles, but we will also win some. As always, the Left and Right will be held together by the center. Our Founding Fathers established a system of government that has endured for more than two centuries, despite numerous challenges. It will not fail on our watch unless we intentionally and aggressively force its collapse to happen. What we should remember is that we are all on the same side and want the same things. Positive energy begets further positive momentum, and the opposite will happen if we let it. Please strive to be the solution, not the problem. We need to move toward, not away from, one another.
