Daily Leadership Thought #120 – Be Wary Of Trying To Fix People

April 13, 2011

How Can I Stop Fixing People and Help Myself in Recovery? - Oceanfront  Recovery

Be wary of trying to fix people.  If in fact they are broken, they will need to fix themselves.  It is often easy to get “sucked into the vortex” of someone else’s problems, especially if you care about them.  However, the most important thing a good friend can do is simply listen and only offer advice when it is requested and then do it carefully and sparingly.   Do not try to be an amateur psychologist because often you will be ill prepared for what you uncover, and the burden may shift to you.

We must deal with the entirety of who we are as individuals.  We all have areas in our life and aspects of personality that hold us back.  At times it feels like a major part of the journey in life is to figure out what these personal liabilities are and which lessons we need to learn.   Sadly, it is an adverse event that often triggers the need for personal learning and growth.  As they say, sometimes people must hit “rock bottom” and truly experience the adverse consequences of their actions before they will take affirmative action.  Hopefully, the collateral damage for those surrounding them will not be too great.

Every individual has the capacity for self-awareness and self-sufficiency.  Friends and colleagues can act like a mirror reflecting what they see but each of us must take ownership of our own personal problems and take responsibility for the solutions.  The best we can do for others is to be honest, caring, establish healthy boundaries and when necessary, encourage them to seek professional help.  You can’t fix other people, but you can still care to support them as long as it is helpful.

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