I originally wrote this blog about my dad in 2013. I felt that republishing it on Father’s Day 2022 was a fitting tribute to him. He is very much on my mind today.
Sadly, my father passed away this past year (2013). He was 84 and lived a full life. Many times, he commented to me that he couldn’t believe he had lived this long. When he was a child, he told me, living to 65 seemed like a reasonable expectation. I am glad he beat his expectations and gave us many more years to be with him. Dad came from a generation where you lived up to your responsibilities. He never complained about them. He also believed that teaching children to be independent adults was an important parental responsibility. He didn’t coddle us, but also did not judge us too harshly. He was always there if needed.
Pop grew up an only child in the Bronx, NY, and was raised by a stepfather at a time when this was unusual. His dad died when he was still very young. As a young boy, he spent a lot of time roaming the streets of New York City alone, which is hard for me to fathom as a father myself. As far as I can tell, he was given nothing; he had to earn it all himself. Dad ended up staying married to my mom for 63 years. They had 7 kids and 18 grandchildren. He built a log cabin with his own hands on top of a mountain in rural upstate New York, and that is where he retired, a retirement that lasted almost 30 years.
Besides being a loving grandfather, father, and husband, he was many things: an ex-marine (of which he was enormously proud), an educator, a carpenter, a travel agent, an avid reader, and a world traveler. He could discuss anything with anyone. He could also repair most broken items and resolve nearly any issue. I was always amazed by the breadth of his skill, knowledge, and experience. To paraphrase Ralph Waldo Emerson, he was a true “self-reliant” man.
I am grateful for the many things he either gave or taught me, including the following:
- His example of maintaining a lifelong commitment to his wife, even when the road seemed rocky at times, was a valuable lesson to observe.
- The gift of my many siblings and the even bigger family this created.
- A strong work ethic and the importance of finishing what you started.
- Maintaining your personal ethics and values is an important part of life.
- A natural curiosity and love of reading and learning.
- A love of history and an abiding patriotism that only grows stronger with time.
- An appreciation and respect for other countries and cultures.
- A love of travel and joy in creating family adventures.
- A deep sense of pride in my cultural heritage.
- Self-confidence to tackle any project if you put your mind to it.
- That pain is a part of life, and you need to learn to deal with it without becoming a burden on others.
- An ability and willingness not to judge others (especially your children) too harshly.
- Showing me that money is less important than your happiness and a sense of self-fulfillment.
- The importance of being a parent who doesn’t micromanage or overly guide their children’s adult lives.
- The willingness to let your kids make their own mistakes as adults without criticism, but then being there to help pick up the pieces if necessary.
- A love of dogs and the special companionship they can offer.
- A special appreciation for Christmas, which is also his birthday, is ingrained in our family.
The holidays are not the same without my dad around. All of us must take the journey of losing our parents and going on with our lives. While their physical presence no longer exists, their legacy naturally lives on in and through their children. I had a good dad who I believe genuinely did his best despite his limitations and imperfections. You can’t ask for more than that… I am lucky to have known him and loved him.
Thanks, Dad, we all miss you very much!
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