Empathy is one of the most important yet often overlooked human virtues. At its core, empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings and perspectives of others. It’s the capacity to step into someone else’s shoes, imagine their experiences, and feel what they are feeling.
While empathy comes more naturally to some than others, it is a skill that can be developed and strengthened. And cultivating empathy is well worth the effort, as it provides immense benefits in both our personal and professional lives.
The Importance of Empathy
Humans, as social beings, rely on healthy relationships to thrive. Empathy provides the foundation for building strong connections with others. When we tune into and validate someone else’s emotional state, we form a bond and convey that we understand and care about their well-being.
A leader who demonstrates empathy earns the respect and loyalty of their team. Empathetic leadership creates psychological safety, where people feel valued and empowered to do their best work. Team members are more engaged and motivated when they believe their leader “gets” them.
In contrast, a lack of empathy in business can be very costly. It leads to poor customer service, low employee morale, higher turnover, reduced collaboration, and innovation. Insensitive leaders make poorer decisions, damage relationships with key partners and stakeholders, and ultimately put the success of the organization at risk. Without empathy, companies will struggle in today’s business environment.
But empathy’s value extends far beyond the workplace. Empathy plays a vital role in close personal relationships, parenting, education, healthcare, counseling, and conflict resolution. It is the antidote to much of the strife and polarization we see in the world today. Empathy enables us to humanize rather than demonize those who are different from us. As author Mohsin Hamid put it, “empathy is about finding echoes of another person in yourself.”
Cultivating empathy makes us not only better friends, partners, parents, and leaders, but better human beings. Most of history’s greatest heroes were profoundly empathetic individuals. Mahatma Gandhi led India to independence through nonviolent resistance rooted in his ability to understand the plight of the oppressed. Martin Luther King Jr. and Nelson Mandela also used empathy as a powerful force to transform society and dismantle racist institutions. In literature, beloved characters like Atticus Finch and Samwise Gamgee embody the virtue of empathy in how they treat and advocate for others.
How to Develop Empathy:
While empathy may come more naturally to some, it is a skill that everyone can practice and improve. Here are some ways to strengthen your empathy muscles:
- Practice active listening. When conversing with others, give them your full attention. Listen to understand, not just to respond. Focus on the speaker’s verbal and nonverbal cues to grasp their full message.
- Ask questions. Instead of making assumptions, get curious about the other person’s thoughts and feelings. Inquire with genuine interest. Clarifying questions can help uncover values and motivations.
- Look for commonalities. Try to find shared experiences or feelings, even with those who seem very different. Focusing on similarities rather than differences can help close the empathy gap.
- Walk in their shoes. Take time to imagine what it would be like to be in the other person’s position. What might they be thinking or feeling? What challenges could they be facing? Understanding another person’s viewpoint is crucial for developing empathy.
- Open your mind. Be willing to have your own perspective challenged. When exposed to different viewpoints and experiences, resist snap judgments. Approach with openness and a desire to learn.
- Examine your biases. We all carry unconscious biases that can interfere with empathy, especially for those outside our “tribe.” While acknowledging and confronting personal biases requires courage, it’s essential to extend empathy where it’s often most needed.
- Read fiction. Studies show that readers of literary fiction score higher on empathy than nonfiction readers. Narratives that explore the inner lives of characters can help us develop mental models of others’ experiences.
Leading with Empathy
For those in leadership positions, empathy is an essential asset that can be developed into a competitive advantage. Empathetic leaders are better able to build trust, resolve conflicts, provide useful feedback, and inspire their teams.
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella (I’ve separately referenced him for humility as well) has made empathy a core part of Microsoft’s culture. He has spoken at length about using empathy to better understand customers’ and employees’ unmet, unarticulated needs. Under his empathetic leadership, Microsoft has seen tremendous growth and success.
Some specific ways that leaders can demonstrate empathy include:
- Regularly soliciting input and feedback from team members at all levels
- Acknowledging others’ emotions, even if you disagree with their position
- Checking-in to see how decisions and changes are impacting employees.
- Accommodating reasonable needs for flexibility
- Showing sincere appreciation and giving credit where due
- Investing in employee development and career growth
- Responding to issues with compassion rather than judgment
- Admitting mistakes and showing vulnerability
Empathy is a skill that requires ongoing practice. The most successful leaders make it a daily priority to tune into the thoughts, feelings, and needs of the people they serve: employees, customers, and communities. They understand that everything in business happens through and between people. And people perform at their best when they feel understood and valued.
As the world navigates disruptive times, empathy has never been a more important leadership virtue. In fact, it may be the only way forward, because what affects one of us affects all of us. By taking steps to build our empathy, we access our shared humanity and potential. We move closer to solutions and societies that work for everyone. Empathy lights the path forward in a positive, caring, and empowering manner.